Thursday, July 31, 2014

Catching Up | A Year Later

HI! :)

I can't believe it's been a year since I last posted. It actually feels a little funny to be back here and it feels uncomfortable in a way. Almost like the awkward convo you have when you run into someone you haven't seen since high school. Like... you know you're kind of happy to see each other even though you guys left off on weird terms as you parted separate ways to go off to college. And you hope it doesn't last too long as you're not too sure what to say to each other [do you bring up anything from the past? or just talk about the here and the now?]. And you do that awkward talking over each other thing because you're both nervous and thinking about what to say next... THAT! That's how it feels to be back in this space. Weird. Especially since I have such mixed feelings about blogging for so many different reasons which is why I took such a long hiatus. Part of me really wishes I stuck with it and kept blogging in order to document things for Liv's sake, but the other part of me is glad I took the time, I would've used blogging, to be present for her. I was having such an inner struggle with what to do and I just had to make the decision as to which Liv would benefit from most, me blogging our [her] lives away OR me spending that quality time with her. And with that, I made the decision to take a break.

Now, that being done and said, I'm making the decision to get back into blogging here or there... when the moooooood strikes [as Beth from 40 yr old virgin says]! Because I miss it! I do! But I really need to get this all or nothing, black or white, thingggg out of my head! And I need to stop feeling like there are guidelines on what I should blog [her firsts, birthday parties, etc. just as examples] based on what others blog about. This time around, I really want to just blog as I see fit, pending the amount of time I have...and most importantly NOT feel guilty for missing something or skipping something just because I can't find the time to do it.  That's really what got me overwhelmed and in a funk a year ago... it almost made me resent blogging. And WHY?? This should be a fun thing - right?! Not a stresser. RIGHT! There are no due dates or timelines here!

BUT let's be real a second...that's all fine and dandy until baby #2 comes around though, then I'll be back on the belly pic wagon... can't do it for one and not the others - right? :)

Anyways, I'm going to try to do my best to catch up on the last 13 months I have missed and not stress about it because it REALLY doesn't matter. After all, this is just for fun! :)

I'd love to see who is still reading my blog... if YOU are, would you mind leaving me a note below? I wanna hear from you!